I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
