is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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