just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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