I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
