we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
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well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
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I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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