Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
