Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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