Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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