So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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