It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
