in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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