I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
