Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
