The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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