I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
