I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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