she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
