At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
