Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
