i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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