Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
