i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
