Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
