good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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