he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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