hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?