Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
