I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
The air taste purple.
Randomize