I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
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I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
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I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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