I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
