It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
