he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
This can only be settled by a dance off.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
