so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
