well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
