It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
