Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I made him laugh his dick is mine
try to milk me bitch
Randomize