What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
So squirting runs in the family.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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