He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next