you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
