If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
