She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
