Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
