He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
