So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
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My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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