Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Randomize