pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
North Korea, Best Korea!
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
