So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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