He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We don't watch enough power rangers
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
