I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We talked him into tasing himself.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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