my vag is so smooth its legendary
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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