Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
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I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
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Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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