I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My vagina just recognized that song.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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