The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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