I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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